Sometimes, I have to think back to that time when I was in my twenties with the love of my life. I was so high on “us” being a couple; my feet rarely touched the ground. I liked that he wasn’t a stranger, that a friend introduced us. Oh, yeah he looked good and made me feel special; in the beginning. My girlfriend saw the goo goo eyes I made and just laughed at me when I talked about him. After several months, I was spending more time with him than my friends. My mother noticed this and gave me her slow down talk, which I respectfully listened to, nodded understanding, and quickly ignored.
After about 6 months, I sensed a change. He wasn’t available as often, and that didn’t sit well with me. I wondered if he was pulling away from me. I asked him and he told me it was all in my head, he was just working hard and more tired than before, which hit me like a brick. I worked harder trying to get his attention, but the harder I tried, the less I saw of him, and realized we were spiraling downward. My friend tried to talk to me, to share something given to her by her grandmother. I had no idea what she was talking about; I just hoped she would make it quick, so I could get back to working on my boyfriend.
She asked me what was going on, and through a river of tears, I poured out the pain of my love life. She listened quietly, and asked me what I expected from him. I told her I thought we were in love and be together for a long time, and maybe even marry. She asked me if we ever discussed that or was this just in my head. I had to admit we had never had conversations about a future. She told me she saw this coming, but knew I would not hear her.
She said, I am gonna tell you something my mother told me that I had to learn the hard way: “There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going. and that’s what you took, a shortcut to where you wanted to go. You had thoughts in your mind that he didn’t, and settled on what you wanted. You took a shortcut you shouldn’t have taken.” A while later I understood what she meant. I took a shortcut to somewhere that wasn’t worth going. Lesson Learned!